How to Succeed When You’re Afraid

Welcome to massage talk therapy.

Got a problem?

I do.

I hate cutting my toenails.

Don’t know why. Maybe I was an unhappy podiatrist in another life.

Anyway, I avoid cutting them at cost. They get way too long, and when I finally cut them I announce to my wife, Lisa: Hey, I cut ’em!

Omg, pink champagne or white?!

The question is, what was the big deal?

There was no blood when I cut them…but…

…but there could have been blood, right?

So, I better not cut my toenails.

Or I better not call the client who I worked on 2 days ago in case her condition got worse.

You see where I’m going here in this massage talk therapy session.

Could Be Bad Thinking

“Could be bad” thinking stops you from completing tasks and accomplishing goals.

It’s like a faulty brain wire that slowly drains your energy reserve.

You probably got a case of “could be bad” thinking if you constantly ask yourself questions like: Why don’t I have more clients?

Massage Talk Therapy Match-up: Mark Versus Joe

I was the poster child for “could be bad” thinking when I first started massage.

Back then I worked in a chiropractor’s office with other MTs.

Joe, a colleague and friend, had a kick-butt following. My following was mediocre.

Was Joe that much better than me?

I don’t think so.

But he was willing to put himself out there by letting people know he did massage.

I, on the other hand, wasn’t.

If I talked about my massage it could be bad because…

…people might start thinking that I’m simply a self-promoter…or I might not live up to their expectations…or they just may hate me and tell everyone that I stink as a therapist.

The Change

Fast forward to today.

I still don’t like promoting myself.

And I still have a “could be bad” mindset.

But my practice is where I want it to be.

What’s up?

There’s one major difference between me then and now.

Now, when I start thinking it “could be bad” when making a business decision, it’s more often than not a signal for me to push on.

Falling Through the Display Window

Not so long ago, I had agreed to be a sponsor at an event my favorite business partner was putting on.

Even though I had done massage at tons of events over my career, I still had anxiety about doing this event.

After all, it could be bad because…

….I could fall through the display window where I’d be doing the massage…I could have a client come in and complain about a massage…I could look like an idiot because no one gets in my massage line…I could be so awkward that I make all the other vendors uncomfortable and my favorite business never invites me back…

Damn, Mark, that’s a lot of signaling that you need to do this event.


I did.

It was great AND I didn’t fall through the display window.

Are You Worse Than Me?

But it’s all relative, right?

Your case of “could be bad” could be worse than my case of “could be bad”.

What then?

Simple, says Dr. Mark (haha), you need to experience a win.

Then you need another win…

…and another win until your brain says: Huh, maybe this sh*t is real.

This is how you’re going to get a win:

1. Pick a task.

Pick something that you’ve been avoiding but need to do to move forward with your business.

2. Don’t panic.

When all the “could be bad” thoughts pour into your mind, don’t panic.

Look at them.

Are they legit concerns or are they unrealistic concerns?

Fall through the display window—unrealistic concern.

No one in my massage line—unrealistic concern.

Worst vendor ever award—unrealistic concern.

Client tells me I suck in front of everybody—unrealistic concern.

If your concerns are mainly unrealistic then say:

3. F*ck it!

Sorry. But doesn’t this stuff get you a little jacked?

How many times have you NOT followed through on something because of unrealistic concerns and regretted it.

The reality is, you can’t get the win if you don’t go for the win.

And the memory of the first win will be the incentive for the next win and on and on…

Eventually, you’ll create a habit of pushing forward when your brain says “could be bad” and offers only unrealistic concerns.

The first win is the hardest.

If you find yourself wavering…

4. Get support.

Talk to a colleague, friend or spouse.

Let them know what you’re doing and how they can help you.

By the way, my office door is open.

Email me and I’ll be happy to be your Judge Judy or Oprah, whichever you think you need to finish the job.

Thanks for participating in today’s massage talk therapy session.

One parting thought: Don’t expect the “could be bad” mindset to go away. (Well, it didn’t for me.)

But it doesn’t need to for you to move forward.

You just need to manage your “could be bad” thinking.

And you can:-)

Hey, here’s another way you can get support, join my email group.

I’ll send you the latest everything I’ve got going on.

It’s free and you can unsubscribe anytime.

Sign up below:-)

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