Category: Motivation

You are a massage therapist and a  ________. Many massage therapists in the United States fill that blank in with an additional occupation.

But how many of us would like to fill that blank in with a dream job?

I’m a massage therapist and I own a massage business.

I’m a massage therapist and a bestselling writer.

I’m a massage therapist and I opened a wellness center.

I’m a massage therapist and my album just went to #1.

Oh, no, Mark, you’re not going to sucker me into a dream only so that dream can be dashed.

Yep…but, hopefully, without the dash-ing part.

And honestly, I’m really not suckering you in.

You’ve been done sucked in for a long time.

Why am I so sure of that?

Cuz you’re still reading.

So, come on…just say it…don’t be the Fonz…admit it when you’re wrong…you’re a dreamer.

It’s okay.

This boy is a dreamer, too, and I’ll show you how it’s going to be okay, meaning no more dashed dreams.

Yeah, that’s a big statement.

Dashed Dream Correction Factor

Let’s take an honest look at these dashed dreams. Most dashed dreams are dreams never tried, right?

Like 99.99%.

Now what about the 0.01%, the time that you really tried, but you had to roll over, give up, retreat, retire, call it day and accept your life as it is?

Yeah, let’s talk about that one.

For one, was it really over?

I’ll go first. I want a website (this one) to reach tens of thousands of massage therapists across the globe.

And my Google analytics SAYS: Uh, seriously not there, buddy.

My dream is dashed.

Or is it?

My readership is growing every day.

My monthly views continue to go up.

And in general all analytics are heading in the right direction.

I’m gonna say dream in progress. Not dashed.

How did I NOT dash this dream so far?

When there was a fork in the dream road and I went the right way—not because I’m smart.

I took the right road because I had taken the wrong road sooooo many times.

And I hate to say this, but you probably already missed the fork in the road.

It looks like this: You’re on your dream road and you come to a fork. One road sign says “Instead Of”. The other road sign says “In Addition To”.

Okay, Mark, this is not making a lot of sense.

And I’m going to make it more confusing by going way back to this sentence: Massage therapist + ________.

You remember that sentence, right? That’s when you stuck your dream job into the blank.

Do it again.

Good.

You’re at the crossroads.

Yeah, seriously, that fast.

Is your dream going to be pursued in an “instead of” or in an “in addition to” way?

Are you going to write that novel instead of taking on more massage clients to pay for the writing class?

Or are you going to write than novel in addition to taking on more clients to pay for that writing class?

“In addition to” is the harder road, but the road that will give you the best chance of making your dream come true.

“In addition to” does three things that “instead of” can’t.

In Addition To Advantage

In addition to…
1. …forces you to be selective with the dream you choose to follow.

Why?

Because “in addition to” requires a huge time commitment so it’s a natural filter for dreams that don’t drive you.

2. …covers your financial base until the dream job starts making money.

You may be getting less sleep, but you’re not making less money when you go down the “in addition to” road.

This is important because dreams take time. If you cut back with or bagged your current job and went all in with your dream, you may run out of money before your dream job starts making money.

3. …gives you enough time to determine whether the dream is worth pursuing or not.

Because you’re not dropping everything and following your dream job you are taking the long road. You’ll see progress, but not as much as you want to see. Is that okay with you?

Believe it or not, that’s a great spot to be in. Because you will have some victories under your belt along the way AND a true sense of how hard it’s going to be to make your dream come true.

Now, at every questioning moment along the way, you can make an informed decision as to whether you want to carry on.

Okay, good luck.

Of course, I’m kidding. Dreamers don’t abandon dreamers.

First, let’s recap.

The Hard Road Recap

Think about traveling the “in addition to” road when pursuing a dream job.

When you do you’re more likely to pick the dream that you can stand behind, your bills will be covered, and you’ll have enough time to make an informed decision.

And when you need a little, extra push, check out Advanced Dreaming: I Live in Philly. 

Also, you may want to join my email group.

You get my latest on dreaming, making money and saving your body.

It’s free:-)

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Does your dream have a website?

I can help you with that.

Here’s a DIY guide that will allow you to build a website fast.

If you need more assistance, email me and I’ll help you get your website set up.

I live in Philly Philly.

Bet you’re thinking: Uh, another typo there, Mark.

But Philly Philly is not a typo.

It’s not a place.

It’s not the name of a new band.

And it’s not a discount website.

In fact, it wasn’t anything until February 4, 2018.

That’s when during the Super Bowl, Nick Foles, quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles, asked his coach, Doug Pederson, if he wanted to run Philly Philly (aka Philly Special), a trick play, on 4^th and goal.

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Pederson said.

They did.

And they scored.

But scoring on a trick play isn’t what Philly Philly is either.

To understand Philly Philly we have to backtrack some.

The Eagles started out the 2017 season smoking hot, but during the third game they lost Darren Sproles, one of their clutch running backs to an Achilles injury.

Sproles wasn’t the only key player they’d lose during the season.

Next to fall was special teams captain Chris Maragos.

Then All-Pro tackle Jason Peters and ace linebacker Jordan Hicks were both side-lined with season-ending injuries.

But here’s the thing, even through all these injuries, the Eagles continued to win.

How?

They filled some holes with new players.

And back-up players stepped up.

It was as if the more adversity these guys faced, the stronger they got.

Strong enough to win a Super Bowl?

Yes.

We started to believe…

…until game #13, the day when  Eagles’ star quarterback, Carson Wentz, blew out his knee.

We gasped.

The Eagles did manage to win the next two games with back-up QB Nick Foles, but their play was deteriorating.

And after the last game of the season, the Eagles did not look like a team that was ready for the post-season.

They’re toast, analysts said.

Yep, agreed Vegas oddsmakers. And they picked the Falcons over the Eagles by 3  for NFC Divisional playoff game.

When the Eagles started the game it didn’t seem like a question of whether they were going to be toast, but rather what kind of toast they were going to be.

Simply burnt toast or the kind of charred toast you have to dig out of the toaster with a knife?

But the Eagles settled down as the game went on.

And to everyone’s surprise, they pulled it off.

They beat the Falcons.

But fairy tale endings only happen in movies, not on spreadsheets, right?

Vegas knew that. And for the NFC Championship game they picked the Vikings by 3.

Again, the Eagles started the game like how everyone expected them to–as a team destined to lose.

But that didn’t last long and the guys in green went on to rout the Vikings 38 – 7.

Huh…

Vegas thought really hard about the upcoming Super Bowl with the Eagles and the Patriots, but it was Brady, and the Pats had been to the Super Bowl a bazillion times, come on, and Vegas made the only reasonable prediction they could: The dreamers’ luck stops here.

Believing in a dream is a weird.

It’s hard to tease apart why you’re dreaming.

It could be escapism.

One day I’ll be out of this crappy job and I’ll be basking in the Key West sun.

Or avoidance.

Yeah, I’ll apply for that better paying job soon…hmm, wonder what the weather is like in Key West?

But there’s another part of dreaming that’s any of that.

It has to do with hope.

Hope, as in if I push on, if I continue to do what I need to do, I’ll make my dream come true.

Nothing about pushing on is easy.

The self-doubt is relentless.

I’m wasting my time again.

I’m out of time.

I wasn’t meant to succeed.

I should’ve never have dreamed.

But the catch is that it’s only through pushing on that you stand a chance at accomplishing your dream.

It’s deep in the second quarter of Super Bowl LII. The game is tight. The Patriots have just scored and the Eagles lead has been cut to 3 points.

It’s 4th and goal for the Eagles. The safe decision would be for Eagles to kick a field goal. That would give them a 6 point lead.

But it’s becoming apparent that the game is gonna be a shoot-out. And the Eagles need points to keep pace with the Patriots. A lot of them!

Pederson makes the call to go for it and that’s when Foles asks him: “You want Philly Philly?”

Not only is Philly Philly a high risk play—the ball exchanges hands 3 times—it has to be perfectly executed for it to work.

And this is what happened: A rookie running back pitches the ball to a third string tight-end who throws the ball to a backup quarterback. (Modified quote from here.)

Touchdown!

And the Dreamers go on to win the Super Bowl.

But just like scoring a touchdown, winning the Super Bowl isn’t Philly Philly either.

What is Philly Philly?

It’s not the Lombardi trophy.

It’s not the Super Bowl ring.

It’s not the beginning.

It’s not the end.

Philly Philly happens during the in-between.

You know the in-between.

The dream seems real, then it seems ridiculous because everyone is telling you to stay down, give up, go home, you’re too old, you’re too young, you’re a dreamer.

Unfortunately, just wanting it really bad won’t keep you in the game.

Don’t get me wrong, wanting it is important, but that’s not going to carry you through the tough times of dreaming.

You stay in the game because after you make a mistake,

you make another mistake and another,

but just before you’re about to quit

something clicks,

and you jump through the flames,

only to find a razor wire fence now in your way.

But this time is different.

Your palms are not sweaty.

Your heart’s not racing.

In fact, you’re  a little pissed.

Because there are no magic thoughts swirling in your brain anymore.

No pixie dust in your pockets.

The land of make believe from where you dreamed is long gone.

You are day in, day out.

Get up.

Take a step.

Get up.

Figure it out.

God damn it, get up!

Take a step.

Another.

And another.

Until you stand at the door.

It opens.

You leap.

And it looks like you were born for the moment.

Philly Philly is not for sale.

And it’s not reserved for the elite.

It favors no race or gender.

And no one can steal it from you.

Ever.

Philly Philly is ugly.

Is hard.

Is beautiful.

Is life-giving.

Can you feel that?

I can.

That’s Philly Philly.

And that’s how dreams come true.

Hey, it’s Mark. Thanks for reading my blog post. I write articles about how I apply the philosophy of conscious capitalism to growing a small business, use bootstrap marketing  to keep start-up costs down and make my business a reflection of who I am and strive to be.

If you want to read more of my work, just sign up for my email group. It’s free. Thanks for stopping by!

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In 1993 I was in dumps. I was working for a chiropractor and I wanted to work for myself, but I knew that I didn’t have enough massage clients to take the leap.

I was stuck and ready to give up.

But I had two people in my life who challenged me to face the things that were actually preventing me from doing what was necessary to going out on my own.

As I started to face the challenges I felt VERY uncomfortable and, OMG, did I want to go back to where I was miserable–but at least safe.

However, I didn’t and, damn, if I didn’t launch my business!

[bctt tweet=”You’re gonna be uncomfortable BUT at the end of the day you’ll be working for yourself. ” username=”Mark LiskeyMarkLiskey”]

My Pokers

When you’re feeling bad about yourself and the situation that you’re in it’s natural to move away from those uncomfortable feelings.

But a lot of the times it’s facing those uncomfortable feelings that help us grow.

Lucky for me, Lisa, my wife (girlfriend at the time), and my friend, John, a personal trainer, were good at poking me.

Every time I gave a reason as to why I couldn’t go out on my own, they countered with a question or an idea.

I Have $0 To Start  a Business

My number one reason for not going out on my own was that I didn’t have enough money to rent a place.

This was absolutely true.

But when John pushed for more information, I had to admit that I hadn’t looked for alternative rent options.

John had a suggestion.

He had been referring clients to me at the chiropractor’s office for a while and he suggested that I see his client Sybil, a person I’d known for years but never seen as a client, at my apartment.

This made me uncomfortable and I initially passed on the idea.

For one, I had no idea how to make my office look like a massage room.  

I had told Lisa about John’s suggestion and she torpedoed that objection by  volunteering to make sure that my office would seamlessly double as a massage room.

Hmm…back to the objections drawing board.

I Don’t Want to Work for Free!

Having cleared the first objection hurdle, I was starting to feel really uncomfortable.

Lisa revved up the poking (like all good partners do) and I discovered another fear of mine: I hated setting prices and collecting money.

And this was a big.

Prior to massage I had a small gardening business.

During that time I always undervalued my service and never raised my rates.

Can you say, Markie resented his customers because he felt like they were taking advantage of him?

Oh no, I was going to be working for practically free again!

Another Solution

But when I faced this fear Lisa helped me figure out a price that seemed fair to me.

Then John told Sybil (and any future client who he would refer to me) how much the massage would cost.

Now it was less likely that I would cave and discount my massage when it came time to collecting the money.

Even with all their help, I was still uneasy when Sybil came to my home office for a massage.

But that changed when she paid me the price I was asking.

Stay On It

For most of us staying being in the discomfort zone is not our normal default state.

Even now, 20+ years into private practice, I still avoid things that make me uneasy.

For instance, I have no problem collecting money from clients, but promoting my business remains a challenge.

Here’s a fairly recent example. We officially opened our new business, PressurePerfect, about 4 years.

During the first year I had been contacting local businesses that could potentially be good business partners, like chiropractors, personal trainers and yoga studios.

And I had made contact with April, a key person in a local running store, via email.

Email was my go-to way to contact people because I was comfortable with it.

April and I had exchanged numerous emails about doing potential events together, but nothing materialized.

It was frustrating, but instead of actually going to the store and looking for another way in, something I wasn’t comfortable with, I gave up.

I Wasted Time

About a year later when I was doing demo massages at a chiropractor’s office a patient of the chiropractor told me to talk to Casey, the manager of the running store, instead of April.

I started to email Casey, but then I realized that it was time to make myself uncomfortable.

So, I walked into his store and introduced myself. We hit it off and by the time I left Casey and I had set up a massage event at his store. 

Once again making myself uncomfortable paid off.

Are You Uncomfortable Enough?

If you’ve been dreaming about working for yourself but feel stuck, it might be time to get uncomfortable.

Here’s a quick way to start:

1. Write down the things about starting a massage business that make you feel uncomfortable.
2. Pick the top one.
3. Find a person(s) who can help keep you in the discomfort zone (like Lisa and John did with me).
4. Then get uncomfortable. 

Tackle that number one thing and don’t give up until you’ve experienced at least one win (with me it was Sybil paying me for my first “official” private practice massage).

My bet is that once you experience a win, you won’t want to give up.

Need more help getting uncomfortable?

Check out my free how to get you massage business off the ground course: Jumpstart.

Sign up below for my email group to get my latest info. It’s free:-)

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